


You Care [But You Were Never There]

by onefootonego (startingXI)



Series: Crossfire [Of Your Own Thoughts] [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Do anything for family, Episode 2x02, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startingXI/pseuds/onefootonego
Summary: on the one hand, clark showing up at your house, with Kara, then leaving less than a minute later, without Kara, is probably the defining moment of your childhood.  (or: 500 words on how Alex has a complicated relationship with Clark)





	

**Author's Note:**

> because the line of dialogue is not included directly in the work, I will leave it here. 
> 
> _"So does he understand he abandoned you with us?"_
> 
> from episode 2x02 - "the last children of krypton"

you appreciate clark. he makes Kara's entire being seem to radiate happiness, and you love that, so, really, you should like clark. but it isn't quite that simple. 

on the one hand, clark showing up at your house, with Kara, then leaving less than a minute later, without Kara, is probably the defining moment of your childhood. 

everything you might have become, in a future that didn't involve a little sister worth protecting, was gone. it left when clark kent took off from your parents house, not looking back on his only blood family in the whole universe. 

he had, effectively, abandoned her. 

granted, it was with you. and you were not the perfect older sister - but you feel like you've made up for it since those years of muted jealousy. the anger at sacrifices willingly made. 

you’d do anything for her, including tolerate clarks presence and pretend that part of you doesn't want to hit him. 

the thing with clark is, he’s great. he's great at the whole reporter thing. he's a kickass superman. when you see him though, sometimes, sometimes you think of Kara back then, crying under cover of darkness because she is all but alone in the universe. you think of how she had to learn her powers alone. 

[you were there, but still, merely human. what could you have known of sun-enhanced alien powers] 

[turns out, a lot - after borrowing your fathers notes on clark] 

you think of all the ways you couldn't understand her pain because you had never lost a planet. then when you lost your father, you realized what she must feel, how her pain must be that agony, compounded. it makes you burn, knowing he could have helped. but he didn't. not until years later, when Kara was smiles, secret flights and beating dicks in gym class arm wrestling. 

you see him and Kara laughing together. you see her eyes light up. you watch them fly off together, saving the city together. and for Kara, you're happy. really, you are. she deserves all the family she can get. 

when it comes to clark, this is where things get complicated. you wonder if he knows how lucky he is. how lucky he is that Kara even speaks to him. 

[you’ve had many a thought where, if it were up to you, he wouldn't really come around] 

he's Kara's family though. by proxy, your family. and in general, he's a decent guy. you know Kara likes being able to tell him stories of Krypton, about the life he will never remember. but still, part of you will never forget how easily he left his cousin behind. 

he was young, you rationalize. 

he was a new superhero, he didn't need to raise a teenager. 

he was, is, bonded by blood. he should have done better. he shouldn't have abandoned her. 

what it comes down to is this: part of you never knows whether you want to hate him, or thank him, for doing so.

**Author's Note:**

> alright y'all, this wraps up my three part writing exercise. hope you all enjoyed and to everyone who gave comments or kudos, you are all legends. (and replies will be coming your way soon) 
> 
> as always, to anyone who read this far, you make the story whole.


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